2022
when i reflect about the past year, and try to sum it all up, the best word to describe it is family.
this year was our first full year with maya, along with everything that comes with that. all of her growth spurts and new teeth, watching her take in the world and take on the world, and how different everything seems through her eyes. we’ve loved watching her mind turnover everything she’s seen and all of the places we’ve been lucky enough to take her.
i’ve learned that being a parent is both the best and most gratifying job in the world, but comes with so many emotional rollercoasters of days, moments of doubt, and questioning how well we’re doing. i’ve found that i’ve been too hard on myself in more moments than i’m proud of. i wonder constantly if i’m able to succeed professionally while being a parent, and visa versa. i wonder what “feeling like myself” will look like, and how much it differs from life before maya. i wonder if i’m going to miss the smallest milestones for maya.
many times this year, i’ve wondered what the cost of it all will be, what friendships look like and what i’ll have to sacrifice, what my relationships mean and where i want to prioritize. i’ve grieved what has changed and may never come back the same and have learned to meet people, family and friends, where they are. i try to give what i can, without compromising myself.
most importantly, i’ve learned how much i love being surrounded by the little family we’re building. i look back at my favorite photos and moments of the year and remember how exhausted i may have been, but the pure joy in my heart for having this incredible family. the family i’ve made, the family and friends we choose, and those that bring pure joy into this otherwise chaotic world of parenting and working that we’re in.
i think about next year, and while so much is going to change, and maya will feel like a totally different kid in some ways, i also love the prospect of being there for every moment of it. helping her cope with and learn through change. i can’t wait to see her excitement as she interacts with us and the world, learns to communicate with us, and takes on new adventures.
i daydream about what wade and i will be like as parents of two, with a pup. i think about how we will continue to prioritize our family and our time together, while we also push one another to chase our goals and dreams. i think about where we want to go, how we want to challenge ourselves, and what we want to do creatively. it excites me, and i look forward to the new year and getting to build even more of what we’ve started.
