education
It’s been over ten years since I started my freshman year of college — the last round of formal education that was intentionally part of my plan. I worked hard to get where I wanted to go; I studied and read and put forth my best foot, and ended up at what was my dream school to earn my degree and become an adult. Only once I stepped foot on that campus did I realize what being a student was really about. I loved my business classes, but in filling requisite credits my freshman year, my eyes were opened to a world so broad that I had never really carved time for in high school.
The moment of walking into my art history class freshman year is one I’ll never forget. I had grown up going to various art museums, seeking out specific exhibits and admiring the pieces in front of me; but I never allowed myself a chance to study art, to learn. I had a clear understanding and feeling that with this class, I had a wide open space to learn about something I was passionate about, something that lit a sense of wonder and awe in me, unlike that which comes from building a life. This Art History 101 class opened my eyes to pieces and magic from around the world, with no standard that I was required to hit, no pressure to take it to build a certain future around. This class just provided a moment of pure education, learning for the sake of learning.
I graduated college with my degree and began a career; somehow, I had lost the sense of learning to learn. Sure — I read books and transported myself to another world; I went to art exhibits and read and listened and absorbed all that I could for joy; I learned about people, social dynamics and growing up; but I stopped learning for the joy of it, or for the opportunity to continue to grow and step outside of my comfort zone.
The world feels incredibly heavy right now, wrought with disheartening and terrifying news that is hard to parse out. Where do we go to understand? What do we do? Watch social media and post something to feel like we’re making an impact? That works momentarily, but where is the growth? Which brings me back to my overall thought — when did we stop being students? When did we set aside education for pure joy, or growth, or to learn and understand appropriate ways to help? We get so marred down in the hustle and bustle of life — building a career, paying rent or a mortgage, making dinners, cleaning the house, showing up in relationships, parenting our children.
We’ve lost our wonderment. We’ve grown up and don’t give ourselves the time to sit and read and purely learn to be better, and to understand perspectives outside of our own. Frankly, I miss that. I miss stepping out of my echo chamber to learn something new, to push myself to see the broader world and learn about different cultures in order to see the world for what it is. It’s hard to face certain realities of ourselves, and even harder to admit that a change needs to happen. In learning to have hard conversations with myself I’ve started to crave moments to learn, quietly. Our change doesn’t come from an isolated incident of seeing something — it comes from moments of difficult reflection, feeling discomfort, and a willingness to be a student. Not to be an expert but to spend time learning from others, listening to other perspectives and having a sense of wonderment, chasing a passion regardless of our skill, finding joy and happiness in evolving and waking up each day a little better than the last, while praying for that for those around the world.
